Webinar - Managing Life Rhythms in the Midst of COVID →

On September 18th I had the opportunity to facilitate a webinar sponsored by Wesleyan Publishing House, featuring my book, Unforced Rhythms.

Three guests joined me to discuss their Life Rhythm and how it plays out in this time of COVID.

Thanks to Justine Tegen, David Drury, and Alecia da Cruz - each sharing insights from one of the Life Rhythms.

Have a listen! Maybe you’ll identify with a particular Life Rhythm, while you discover ways to manage your rhythm during this time of isolation, masks, and uncertainty.

Purchase the book and take the FREE rhythm assessment at https://www.unforcedrhythmsbook.com/ Interested in learning about WPH's next webinar? Sign up for ou...

Managing your Life Rhythm during COVID-19

Crazy times, right?!? Who would have ever thought the whole world would be experiencing the same thing at the same time? We are, literally, in this all together, learning what it means to be in home isolation and connecting with friends and family virtually. 

Life has changed as we know it, and the future is uncertain. When will the isolation be over? When will normal activities begin again? How do I plan for future events, already on the calendar, plane tickets booked, reservations made? When will I begin to gather with friends and family again? None of us know the answer, but we do have the assurance that no matter what, or when, God is with us. He's in our grief. He's in our loss. He's in our sadness. He's in our life adjustments. He is in our day-to-day new normal. 

This may be a good time to reconsider your Life Rhythm (check out the digital assessment - see menu). Some of you may be leaning into this time without significant adjustment, others may be finding it to be a major shift. 

Being inside with no where to go can be lonesome and emotionally tiring. Staying in your natural Life Rhythm will help to navigate this season with effectiveness and contentment.

Matthew 11:28–30, the crux of Unforced Rhythms, is timely during this COVID-19 season.

Those of you who live life to a daily rhythm may be finding the changes most challenging. You like your routine and now so much of life is different. You'll find some reminders here on what it is to be a Daily person. It's important for you to find a new-normal routine where you can function at your best with tasks and a schedule that accommodates your daily to-do list. 

Weekly/monthly people will need to keep their goals in mind. You're about getting things accomplished in due time, and moving forward to that end will be important to you. Creating projects, whether work or home, will keep you from going insane in what may seem like “routine” in this forced time. You’re most likely missing your colleagues or team members. Working remotely may be taxing; so many Zoom meetings. It will take more thought and coordination to gain successful teamwork. Check out this blog post on the weekly/monthly person.

If you're like me, seasonal/yearly, you may be welcoming this time of change, though we don't want it to last long, for after all, we like a start and finish to things. And, we definitely want to see this COVID-19 come to an end. You may be adapting to a new normal with grace. You may be finding your artistic side showing up... drawing, sewing, composing, or writing. What theme might you give to this season of COVID?

It’s important for everyone to be asking, “What is God doing in my life during this time?” What is he teaching you while you’re confined to your home, missing out on friends, church, and family connections, practicing social distancing, and integrating new practices into your work life and home life.

And, for those of you with kids at home, don't forget they have a Life Rhythm, too! Check this out for some insights on kiddos. Keeping kids occupied, entertained, and disciplined in schoolwork, can be exhausting. Knowing their Life Rhythm will give helpful insight into these isolation days.

Spiritual Practices: Wings or Weights?

Spiritual practices should give believers wings to fly. That'll be different for everybody. What may be a weight to one person will give wings to another.

I recently met a delightful 80-some-year-old lady. It wasn't long into the conversation when I realized we had kindred spirits, so much in common. She ran consistently until she turned 70. She loves growing things, loves to work in the yard. She has such a positive and generous spirit, so others-oriented. I fell in love with her from the moment I met her smiling face. She walked just short of a mile to meet us for lunch. She even has a Fitbit and tries to get in 10,000 steps a day. I was impressed!

As we got to know each other, I discovered one thing that we don't have in common. She's a morning person, most likely daily in her life rhythm. She sets her alarm for 5:05am every night before she goes to bed. Up early, she finds her morning time with the Lord a great start to her day. That would be a burden to me, a weight that bogged me down with it's routine and repetition, not to mention a 5:05am alarm. But for her it's exactly the opposite. She loves the routine, the familiarity, the consistency of the every day. Those early morning times in the Word give her wings to fly. 

I, on the other hand, don't do mornings. I'd rather find time on any given day (not necessarily every day) to sit for a while to journal, to read scripture with an accompanying commentary or book. My intellectual side (Sacred Pathways, Gary Thomas) likes to study, ponder, research, and ask questions (within myself and in community). 

Currently, I'm beginning a study on the book of Romans. I've pulled Barclay's commentary off the shelf to read along side the passages of scripture. I'll read it in other translations, paraphrases. I'll discuss it with others. It will give words to my prayers. Taking time to understand the context, why Paul wrote what he did for the people of the time will give me understanding in the present day application. It will inspire my spirit, motivate me to live with a heart for the good news, and teach me how to extend my love to others in Jesus' name. 

That's how it works for me. Not everybody connects with the Scriptures in this way, but in my seasonal way of doing things, I camp for a season in the same place. Let me sit here for awhile and take it in.

This is a spiritual practice that gives me wings to fly.

Photo credit: Dina Horne (thanks Dina!) 

I don't know how long I'll be in the book of Romans. It took me a year and a half to memorize and study the book of Ephesians. I camped out six months in the book of James. And, though I won't read Romans every day, I'll be mulling over the words in thought, in the reality of my life, and in the spirit of my heart. This is my seasonal/yearly rhythm at play in my spiritual formation. 

What lifts your spirit? What gives you joy? What carries you in difficult times? For so long I attempted to follow a formula that was dragging me down, a heavy weight of expectations. Once I was free to engage with the Word and God in a way that fit my seasonal lifestyle, I gained wings to fly, to soar above the dutiful expectations I tried to live within too long. 

Are you weighted down by your current spiritual practices? Then, consider what practices will give you wings to fly.

What spiritual practices give you wings? 

 

Intentionality

Perhaps it's more about intentionality than discipline when it comes to spiritual formation. A welcoming word for this seasonal/yearly person. :)

I must admit, since my last season–January through April–I've been in a seasonal slump. Not feeling terribly productive (thus the lack of blog posts), but I am enjoying the lazy days of summer, spending time with grandchildren, and maintaining the flowers surrounding our house as they grow, bud, and bloom. 

Last season ended with hundreds of people cheering on runners as I ran the final 13th mile of the Indy Mini, the largest half-marathon in the country. Hearing the shouts of my kids (who finished ahead of me) as I ran the final mile was rewarding, but I didn't have any extra energy to "give it all you've got." I was giving it all I had, and was happy to cross the finish line. 

Intentional training, building up to several long runs in the last month before the race, contributed to my performance and the ability to finish. 

Whether you fall into a deliberate daily routine,

or find yourself focusing on a purposeful weekly/monthly goal,

or creating a theme that matches your current season or year,

intentionality is necessary to spiritual formation. 

In this new season, I've chosen a word for 2018: FAVOR. It came to me in May (yes, May, not January) while my husband and I were on a much-needed vacation in Yosemite National Park. We've had some not-so-great vacations over the past couple years for one reason or another, but this one was different. I sensed God's favor as we hiked the trails, enjoyed time reading in the lodge, or taking in the beauty in the High Sierras. And, just like that, "favor" became my theme for the rest of the year. 

Half Dome, Yosemite National Park

Since then I discovered Steve Moore's book, The Top 10 Leadership Conversations in the Bible. His first chapter is simply called, "Favor." Moore gains understanding on favor from the life of Joseph. He summarizes the "favor principle" like this:

“There is a difference between the favor of God, and the power of God. The power of God moves in or through us to impact others to advance God’s kingdom. The favor of God moves in or through others to open doors for us to advance God’s kingdom. ”

— Chapter 01 - Favor, pg. 18

Knowing Joseph's life, I realize that God's favor did not always mean living in an ideal world. Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, falsely accused, and thrown into prison, but even there he gained God's favor. I'm looking forward to diving into this word deeper, and experiencing his favor in 2018. 

“For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. LORD Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you.”

— Psalm 84:11–12

In what ways are you being intentional in your spiritual formation? 

Defining You!

Not everybody gets into assessments and test when it comes to self-discovery. I, on the other hand, find it intriguing.

I remember discovering my unique personality in my 20’s. It was in the day of books like Personality Plus by Florence Littauer and Transformed Temperaments by Tim LaHaye. Using animal names was one way to describe your personality: Lion, Beaver, Golden Retriever, or Otter. I’m half beaver and half golden retriever. My husband calls me a Beaver Triever. I'm loyal and enjoy relationship, but there are times when I’m on a mission when in beaver mode. Let me finish my work and then I’ll have time to sit and have coffee with you. Most of the time, though, I’m a Triever, and a golden one, at that.

Then, there are the colors: blue like the ocean, green like the grass, yellow like the sunshine, and red like . . . well, I can’t remember! It might be fire. One day, years ago, when I was a young mom, I sat my four kids down around the kitchen table and shared which color depicted their personality and why. After a few minutes of explanation, our oldest, 12 years at the time, with a red personality said, “Mom, are we done yet?” In other words, keep it short and sweet mom, I have other things to do. Our youngest daughter, five years old, with her pondering eyes, in blue mode said, “Mom, I love you.” The kid’s personality colors were coming out in the moment. It was amazing to see their response according to their color coordinate. The oldest daughter was asking questions (green), and the middle daughter was proclaiming how fun it was (yellow).

It was in my 40’s when the book, Now, Discover Your Strengths, came out with an accompanying StrengthFinders online assessment. I don’t know if it was my age or what, but the conclusions to my assessment were so defining for my life. Maybe I had lived life long enough or been set free from condemning thoughts that I was able to embrace who I was. I listed out my top five strengths with short descriptions and tacked it to my bookshelf where it became a everyday reminder. I found that my strengths overlapped with my spiritual gifts of faith, discernment, and teaching. This assessment has been one of the most defining elements of my life. If you’re curious to know, you can find my top five strengths with short descriptions here at a now retired blog.

The enneagram is fast becoming a popular self-discovery resource, at least in my part of the world. Though Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert wrote a book on the Christian perspective of the Enneagram in 2001, The Road Back to You is the one I’m hearing about lately. I have yet to read it.

I created a Life Rhythm assessment in hopes that it will be a factor in discovering your unique rhythm. Just to be clear, Life Rhythms may overlap with your personality, but it does not peg personality characteristics as much as it demonstrates your way of doing life. As a seasonal/yearly person, I am prone to changing things up according to seasons whether I’m a beaver/triever or not. The three categories of Life Rhythms is a fairly new concept, one that may need some additional research for how it might relate to personality.

Determining your life rhythm as described by the chapters in the book is possible, but perhaps an assessment will narrow it down even more. I don’t know about you, but when I see it on paper, it makes it more official. You’ll find the assessment on the menu under “book,” a free download for yourself or as a resource in counseling/coaching others.

Let me know how it works for you. Did the assessment turn out how you thought it might or was it completely different than you might have guessed? Any questions?

Self-discovery and self-awareness is a wonderful thing. It’s not about being selfish, but having a curiosity as to how God made you and knowing that you are wonderfully made for the good works that he prepared in advance for you to do. Discovering your life rhythm will help you relate to how you go about doing those good works. 

When in a Seasonal Slump, Declare a Rallying Cry

October, November, and December were full months for me. Not so much because of the holidays, but for all the other things that were going on in my life. 

Here's what made up that season:

• this website was launched (big learning curve)
• preorders began for Unforced Rhythms
• spoke at a women's retreat
• podcast interviews (another big learning curve)
• book released November 1
• preorders shipped out, followed by more orders (and another big learning curve)
• spoke at a conference
• book signing at a local coffee shop
• Nov trip to Egypt, Azerbaijan, and Hungary
• celebrated a very important birthday
• family Christmas (for kids/grands nearby) during 5-day turnaround
• packages to CA kids/grands before we left on next trip
• Dec trip to South Africa, Singapore, and New Zealand
• NZ Christmas with more kids and grands
• plus "just life" in between - the usual stuff like laundry, finances, household chores, and catching up with local kids/grands, and the not-so-usual stuff, like dealing with an insurance company for a totaled car (I was rear-ended in Oct and just now bringing closure to that)

I returned from NZ ready to go into hibernation, especially with the bitter-cold temperatures we were/are having in the mid-west. BUT, life doesn't allow for a dormant state. For one thing, I have a half-marathon to get ready for come May.

Three years ago...

In May I'll be running with three out of four of my grown children. They're all hoping for a PR. I just told them to cheer me on as I cross the finish line. 

Let's do this!!

After a highly productive season, a seasonal slump can often follow. So, I'm declaring a rallying cry for February, March, and April, to change things up, to motivate. 

A rallying cry is just the sort of thing seasonal/yearly people would love. It has a start and a finish. I always think of the phrase "rally the troops" when it comes to a rallying cry, but instead of rounding up troops or forces to fight a battle, it's about focusing on a theme that inspires, revives, and motivates one to action. It could be a house project you've been wanting to get to, or a personal goal towards better health, or a focused study. 

If you've read Patrick Lencioni's book, The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family, you'll know what I mean by a rallying cry. I posted about this book back in 2009 on a blog I had at the time. Lencioni suggests a 2–6 month rallying cry. I usually make mine three or four.  You'll find posts on each of the three big questions here, here, and here. Dennis and I are empty-nesters, so I can't say we have a frantic family, but we do manage a considerable amount of travel. That calls for a way of life that is made up of packing, unpacking, time differences, weather differences, night flights, crowded jets, long flights, lots of people connections, jet lag, regrouping once home, catching up on life, and recovering from the toll of travel. 

So, today I joined the YMCA. I needed motivation, plus the cold temps and snow make running hazardous. My theme is staying healthy, which means only rewarding myself once a week with a pastry (maybe twice), and cross-training for the half. This all begins in February, so still enjoying a more than once-a-week apple fritter or sticky bun or persian pecan from a local bakery. I know, it's my downfall! I can walk through a candy store, no problem, but a donut shop. . . 

This morning it felt so good to put on my running clothes. I ran consistently in 2017, but took a 3-month break because of the above list (and my seasonal mode). I went as my daughter's guest (who joined the Y two days ago), but left as a member. I can't tell you how good it felt to run on the indoor track. And then, the weight machines to work on my upper body strength. The Y was just the motivation I needed.

My cheering team 

I'm also planning a 5-day getaway where the sun always shines for writing inspiration and spiritual renewal. A long retreat of sorts that will energize and refresh this seasonal person. 

It will be a different season than the past three months, but that's the way us seasonal people roll. We need to change things up to keep motivated and inspired. Forget a new year's resolution. Here's to a new season!

If you're rhythm is seasonal/yearly, what's your current season look like? 

Which calendar matches your life rhythm?

With the new year upon us, it's calendar time. I was shopping with my daughter in a local mall after New Year's Day and noticed the kiosk selling calendars had a big sale going on. The 2018 calendars are now 75% off. When the new year turns over, a new calendar is in order for the office, your home, or study. Shopping begins in December, and by January 1 the calendars are basically obsolete. 

Even as a seasonal/yearly person–who doesn't really get into calendars–I find it difficult to live without a calendar to schedule appointments, keep track of birthdays and anniversaries, or set aside dates for travel or a needed vacation. My main go-to calendar is on my computer/phone, both sync to each other. Last year I had a few wall calendars at home. One in the kitchen and one in the dining room, both artsy from Etsy (Buy directly from someone who put their heart and soul into making something special). Just in case I needed to know what day it was. :) Several years ago a good friend gave me the Hymn Calendar from littlethingstudio. It's so fun to turn the page at the first of every month. And, then there's the one my daughter gave me for Christmas last year, from Haven Paperie. Simple, yet gives me an overview of the year. 

Calendars are kind of a must-have whether you're a seasonal/yearly person or not.

How I feel about calendars

No matter your life rhythm, everyone has to have a calendar to keep track of life. The difference is which style of calendar you live by. 

Are you a daily planner kind of person? My daughter who lives in New Zealand is a daily person. My guess anyway. She cannot live without her daily planner. During a recent visit, we checked out various options of a daily planner. One had a place for notes, which she prefers. But, she also likes to see the week as well. A bit of a mix between daily and a week at a glance. 

My husband found a great week-at-a-glance calendar (basically a weekly to-do list) that he can coordinate with his monthly calendar, particularly since he travels a lot. Remember, he's a calendar guy, lives to a weekly/monthly rhythm. Really gets into his calendar(s), as you can see below. Four calendars–monthly on his MacAir, weekly to-do list, month-at-a-glance, year-at-a-glance. At least for now. Notice the colors. 

I think I might have found my calendar for the year. We'll see if I use it. A year at a glance, I think it helps me visualize the seasons of my life in a way no other calendar has yet done for me. I like the linear look of the month. I've been known to have good intentions to use a yearly calendar, but get to the end of another year with no markings on it. Sigh. It's hard to be seasonal/yearly and have an affinity for calendars. 

How about you? What's your life rhythm and what type of calendar do you like to use? 

Life Rhythms and Children

Looking back on my life, I can see my seasonal/yearly rhythm playing out as early as my grade school years. The daily school routine would get the best of me. Up every morning at the same time to catch the school bus, homework every night, and the pressure to perform each day took its toll. Christmas break was never long enough. Summer gave freedom and flexibility. A routine sounded good at the beginning of a new school year, but within the first month I was already feeling the weariness of the day-in and day-out schedule. 

Recently a mom of four was sharing how her youngest has really struggled with the daily routine of school. He's having a difficult time getting up in the morning and pushing through the day. She hadn't even read the book yet, but by reading the website posts on the different rhythms, she determined her son most likely beats to the seasonal/yearly rhythm.

We talked about helping him to think in seasons to enable him to manage his little life in blocks of time. Having a beginning and end to things will help him to find a break from the routine. Giving him the freedom and flexibility to be unscheduled on the weekend would be important, a respite from the Monday through Friday drill. It will give him downtime and breathing space to be ready to get on the school bus Monday morning. 

A dad of two shared with me how he and his wife share the seasonal/yearly rhythm, as well as their teenage son. This leaves their middle school daughter who's daily often frustrated living in a household with three seasonal people. Structure? What structure? You can imagine with both parents beating to a seasonal rhythm, to-do lists, routines, and daily tasks are not a significant part of home life. This poor daughter must be going crazy living with seasonal only family members who tend to be more random than routine. Being aware of this is crucial to parenting. As a middle schooler, she can be guided in creating a routine for her days that make sense with the rest of the family. Perhaps a personal note pad where she can create a daily to-do list and check off the tasks (homework, household chores, etc) upon completion would be satisfying for her. 

It's important for parents to think about their kids life rhythm in regards to their spiritual formation. A mom of two junior-highers has been encouraging them to have their daily devotions, but after discovering Life Rhythms, realizes this might be counterproductive in their time with God.

Taking your child's unique Life Rhythm into consideration will be beneficial in helping them to connect with God in ways that are life-giving rather than defeating. If a child is daily, they will lean into the structure of a set time with God each day. Perhaps morning prayer before they head off to school, or a bedtime routine that includes prayer and a devotional book at the end of the day. If they're not daily, helping them discover the life rhythm they naturally lean into will guide them in how they spend time with God. A spiritual growth goal for the weekly/monthly child will motivate them to pursue a child-size plan that moves them forward in becoming more like Christ. Giving the seasonal/yearly child time to reflect, either through conversation or by keeping a journal, to process thoughts on life, things they're learning about God, and how they see themselves, will be meaningful to the seasonal child. 

Now, it makes sense to me that I roamed country roads and pastures on the farm I grew up on, in deep contemplation of God and life and faith. My third-grade teacher often accused me of day-dreaming, which I'm sure I was doing to take a mental break from the tedious routine of school. Even as a child, not knowing I lived to a seasonal rhythm, I found ways to experience life-giving moments in the midst of the daily. 

Discovering a child's life rhythm will empower a parent to know best how to facilitate their child's schedules. Whether a child is daily, weekly/monthly, or seasonal/yearly, understanding their life rhythm will only help them to make more sense out of how they do life.